Yes, I Listen to the Advice from Fortune Cookies

Sometimes the crazy little notes I save can later be worth a fortune to my well-being.

Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash.

As a student of positive psychology, I know many of the techniques and exercises to keep my thoughts out of the “low roads” of my brain. If I let too many negative thoughts run my internal navigation system, it will put me on the same road trip along the sabotaging self-talk and limiting beliefs highways that I traveled for many years.

I like the positive, “high roads” my thoughts travel on now. I’ve built a smoothly paved superhighway of productive thoughts and drive daily to a growth mindset destination.

No way I’m going back to those thoughts that I see now as a dirt path to nowhere.

But honestly, some of the tools and exercises that work to re-train our brains can fall outside the borders of my comfort zones. Self-affirmations were one of those still-uncomfortable things for me to get into my daily habits as I did the work to rewire my thinking and create a growth mindset.

I call it “The Ick Factor,” borrowed with acknowledgment to the Miranda Hobbs character on the television show, “Sex in the City.” She was ready to marry her long-time love Steve Brady. But being the too practical and often unemotional woman she was, the whole idea of a romantic, old-fashioned wedding made Miranda think, “Ick. No.”

That’s what leaps into my mind when I try to look at myself in the mirror and say “I love you” to myself in the style of Louise Hay, one of the early pioneers of self-development books and programs. Her recommendations to employ affirmations and self-love conversation directly to yourself on a daily basis are absolute gold- I agree with them.

It’s just actually doing them that I find difficult. For me, it’s like putting ketchup on eggs. I know a lot of people do this and say it tastes wonderful, but it’s uncomfortable and unappealing to me.

Redesigning An Already Good Habit

Though I don’t follow Hay’s style of practicing daily affirmations to myself in a mirror, I did find that I already had a habit of providing affirming messages to myself that could produce similar results.

For years, I’ve saved fortune cookie messages that were surprisingly accurate and affirming for what was happening in my life. I tucked them away in drawers or under my computer screen base. As they’ve reappeared over the past few years, I find they are still very affirming for me and my life now.

Because I threw out the ones making unrealistic promises like financial riches or the love of my life appearing soon, I succeeded in creating a little “library” of useful, positive statements that I keep in places around my house where I can see and read them often.

Here are a few that I’ve come across this past month that have lit the flame of confidence in me as I pursue my post-career writing phase of my life:

• Nothing happens unless first a dream.

• You will continue to take chances and be glad you did.

• Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.

From the fortune cookie find, I then created another stream of affirmations by collecting wisdom from very famous and unfamous yet all wise people and jotting it down on sticky notes to place in often-seen spots in my home.

Here’s two examples of “sticky note” wisdom I have on display that come from two very different sources but are each a powerful affirmation to me:

• “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” - Winston Churchill

• “Sometimes you gotta bet on yourself.” - My son

Do the Work That Works for You

The most effective way to retrain your brain and lift your thoughts from mostly negative to usually positive is to do the work. You’ll succeed in this if you can find a method and a routine that works for you.

What has worked for others is a good place to start, but self-development is not a one-size-fits-all poncho from Amazon. Experiment and try recommended exercises and then adapt some tools to a practice that’s comfortable for you.

Is there a self-development exercise you are trying to make into a habit but find it difficult to adopt? Maybe there’s a “hack” you can create to modify an exercise so that it feels less difficult and more aligned with you are.

It’s like an exercise routine. If you don’t like to run four miles a day, chances are you won’t. But are you someone who would enjoy walking that distance each day? Walk instead of run and you can get the same benefits (thought it will take more time of your day).

Be sure to drop a comment below if you’ve customized some tools for creating a growth mindset and positive outlook that work for you. All of our ideas will collectively inspire the community! If you use the Substack app, check out this week’s 50+ is Prime of Life subscriber chat on this topic.

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