What Do You Mean When You Say I'm "Over the Hill?"

How to take an ageist remark and turn it into a compliment.

What’s so great about always having to go uphill? Photo by Joshua Sortino on Unsplash

A friend a few years older than me complained last week about someone calling her “over the hill.”

She’s a person I consider to be thriving in her early 70s: working on her passion project and meeting new people as well as hanging with her grandchildren and relaxing with friends.

In my opinion, she’s got a life full of the stuff that makes being past 50 interesting, rewarding, and fun.

Despite what she and a lot of us have going on in our lives we’re still tagged with an ageist label like “over the hill.”

Or “past your prime,” which clearly annoys me since I created this newsletter to proudly proclaim that being our age IS NOW being in our prime!

I think it’s time to call out a few of these phrases that people throw around without any thought. What do they really mean anyway? And how can you take them and flip them around to let the person tagging you with an ageist remark know you’re not buying it?

Over The Hill

A Google search of the Cambridge Dictionary defines this phrase as:

“An idiom, often humorous, used to describe someone who is old and no longer useful or attractive.”

I get the part about being old- though I prefer to think of it more like “older than I used to be.” While I might say I’m old today, I’m not as old as I will be one day, and I’m not seen as old by people several years older than I am.

And I’m at the point where only I can decide whether I’m useful or attractive. I think a lot of us get the most satisfaction putting our energies into being useful in life- giving back, sharing our gifts with the world, being part of something we think matters.

And that is what makes us attractive, not just to other people but most importantly, to ourselves.

I loved being on top of this hill of rocks at Peggy’s Cove, Nova Scotia about five years ago.

Here’s my interpretation of the phrase “over the hill,” which I shared with my friend in the hope she can also see it this way and perhaps in the future thank a person who lobs what’s meant to be a negative and ageist remark at her:

Over the hill is a great place to be! We’ve spent decades climbing and climbing up the hard part. We’ve finally reached the top to enjoy the view.

And we can choose what’s next - if we love the view, we can just stay here. But if we want to explore more views, we can make our way down hill - made easier by what we learned from our uphill climb- in search of a different hill to climb with a different view.

If someone tells me I’m “over the hill,” I’ll say, “Yes, at last! And it’s great to be here!

Past Your Prime

Here’s what the Cambridge Dictionary has to say about this phrase:

“An idiom: In the best, most successful, most productive stage”

I’ve read that this phrase originated from the way that horses were described when they could no longer race or do the brute-strength work that was required of them.

It’s also from the world of horses that we have to hear the phrases “long in the tooth” and “put out to pasture” to describe someone or something that is aging and therefore no longer able to contribute.

And now this terminology is applied to people! Too often, “past your prime” is used specifically for women who are seen as having less value to the world when signs of aging make their physical appearance, well, older.

It’s often not a fair world out there for us as we age. But then again, was it fair to us when we were deemed too young, or “too green,” for certain roles we wanted years ago? If we believed every lame idiom about our worth that’s been thrown at us in our life, we’d have quit a long time ago.

But it’s far from over for you and me if we don’t want it to be.

There’s just no truth at all to the later stages in life being past our prime. I share what I write about these years past age 50 feeling like a second or third prime because I’ve really experienced this. I live now with a wave of confidence, self-acceptance, courage, and spark that feels amazing!

If someone said to me that I’m past my prime, I’d say “Which one? I’ve had so many prime times and thankfully I’m not a horse. I’ve got more prime times ahead.”

Is There an Ageist in You? Take the Quiz

We’re all guilty of making cracks about our age- I love a social media viral video showing a midlife woman humorously trying to get out of bed and over-emphasizing her aches and pains. I’ve laughed at my share of funny birthday cards featuring Maxine making a joke about being old.

I have a sense of humor about aging which I think is vital in accepting some of the changes we go through, especially physically.

But I don’t let the limitations of ageism stick around in my thoughts for long. I won’t buy into the negative ideas of being over the hill or past my prime when it comes to creating and living the life that brings me the most joy and satisfaction.

I recently discovered this quiz from the UK-based organization Age Without Limits that asks you five questions about your own attitudes on aging. It’s not tough to pass, but it does bring to focus the thoughts that we often have ourselves and how we might easily accept some outdated stereotypes without realizing it. Click here to visit the Age Without Limits website and take the short quiz.

And please keep reading my newsletter! I’m in this with you and I want to provide ideas and inspiration to help make this and many future years your prime time!