Life Lessons Learned Across the Generation Gap

I've become wiser, and maybe just a little smarter, by building bridges and listening to people older and younger than me.

Cross the bridge over the generation gap to learn more from those on the other side. Photo by Nick Grant on Unsplash

I’m ready to ditch the stereotype of being this “older” person who needs to ask for advice from my 31-year-old son when I can’t figure out my smart phone’s features.

I’m not saying that this doesn’t happen. It happens often. It’s usually when he watches me fumble around with my phone trying to turn off the flashlight I mistakenly turned on.

Are you sometimes amazed when that crazy bright light turns itself on at the most inappropriate times? It brings a lot of unwanted attention and is also the universal beacon of embarrassment for any younger folks around me (especially my son).

But it’s outdated to depict my phone mishaps as the only reason I seek to learn something from those a generation (or two) younger than me.

When it comes to experiencing an “a ha moment,” as Oprah likes to call learning, I don’t first check for i.d.

I’m an equal-opportunity student of life from people 20 years older than me and more than three decades younger than me.

Wisdom Is Ageless

At some point, we’ve probably all fallen into assigning stereotypes and mass generalizations to those from generations other than our own. Who among us hasn’t given an eye roll, whether visible or in our thoughts, to a younger person who seems to be overly obsessed with an unfriend on social media?

Have you ever been in traffic behind a car going slower than the speed limit and immediately presumed the driver was a person much older than you? I’ve done both. I can often be too quick to paste a generational stereotype onto someone not in my age group.

But when I keep my mind open to the message without judging the messenger, I’ve had many of those “a-ha moments” and learned so much. Sometimes I’m just prompted to think differently about a situation or see an alternate way to solve a problem when I drop the generational bias I sometimes have for the source of the insight.

My friend Chloe is, at 27, perhaps the least stereotypical Gen Z person I’ve met. I met her long before she was Gen Z— she’s the youngest daughter of one of my closest friends so I’ve known Chloe since she was about five years old.

Post-race with my friend Chloe. She’s 35 years younger than me, but she teaches me a lot.

My younger friend is one of the most focused and determined people I know. She not only sets goals for herself with strategies in place to achieve them she also shares what she’s doing all along the way to the finish. I greatly admire how open she is in talking about what she wants from life and the ideas she has to get what she wants.

I’ve learned from Chloe to be more secure in the dreams of chosen and to share with the people in my life what’s happening in my pursuit of what matters to me.

Different Minds in Similar Times

I’m a big fan of Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, “Wiser Than Me,” that features the great comedic actress interviewing accomplished women a decade or more older than her (the first episodes of season three dropped recently).

Each episode is so full of incredible nuggets of insight gained through the experiences of women as famous as Carol Burnett and Julie Andrews, and some perhaps less famous but outstanding in their careers like author Anne Lamott and former EPA administrator Gina McCarthy.

I love that Louis-Dreyfus seeks the wisdom gained from those that have lived more and learned more than she has. She’s not just open but eager to learn from someone who was making their mark on the world long before she was.

Many of us shrug our shoulders and don’t listen enough to the stories and insights of people we too quickly view as out of touch. So much of what happens in our lives now is not anything new- it’s just happening to us for the first time.

I’ve recently connected with a great writer, Jane Trombley. Jane and I both write for Medium.com and we met through an online writing workshop. She’s about ten years older than I am and I’ve learned she’s lived in and through the same phase I’m in now. This “I-no-longer-have-a job-but-not-retired” state of not showing up to a job but still showing up to contribute my very best work to the world.

She’s shared how she had the same discomfort I do when people asked if she was “retired” at this phase in her life.

I read an essay she wrote about a year ago that included the most amazing five-word sentence that’s stuck with me for weeks: Crystal balls are notoriously unreliable.

She’s so right! Any attempt to predict exactly what the future will be in our lives is going to be wrong. Even the great and powerful Wizard of Oz had to resort to pilfering a photo from Dorothy’s basket to give her any kind of crystal ball reading.

I’ve been inspired by Jane’s story to keep moving straight ahead to keep building my writing projects and gain followers online. I may succeed beyond what my crystal ball shows now. Or my work may lead me in a different direction that gives me great satisfaction and joy. Either outcome will be exactly what I’ll want at the time if I’m happy.

I don’t have a way of seeing the exact path to take for my future dreams to come true. But I know I’ve got many people to learn from and lean on who will help shed their light on my journey. With a little help from my multi-generational friends, and my crazy bright smart phone flashlight, I know I’ll find my way.