Are We All a Little Ageist?

We've all shared a laugh at the expense of those younger and older than us, but there's one important quality to ensure we're joking not judging.

Yeah, I’m a Baby Boomer and I am okay with it!

The phrase “OK, Boomer” was conjured up several years ago as a humorous way for Millennials (and likely much of Gen Z, too) to dismiss the value of our generation's life experience and, shudder the thought, advice.

I’m also okay with some humorous “bits” aimed at my lack of both technical expertise and awareness of current culture. Most of the funny memes or reels just don’t bother me because I know the truth about myself in both of these areas- I am capable of learning what I want and need to know, and if I don’t learn it, it’s not because I can’t. I’m just not interested in it.

If you’re a grandparent, perhaps you’ve seen the series of reels on social media that feature the exasperation of a Millennial mother trying to explain to her child’s Boomer grandmother the intricate, specific steps that must be followed when babysitting -even for just a few hours. They always portray the Boomer as hapless and unable to follow the directions of the clearly more capable younger person.

While this sounds like a dart thrown at Boomers by Millennials, what I see are my friends who are grandmothers sharing those reels with their Boomer friends and laughing at their daughters’ seemingly inflexible, rigid approach to their child’s daily routine. After all, my friends are still in demand for providing the help, so they know their kids really do trust their abilities.

They pick up on the joke and lob it back to their kids.

We’ve got to admit that when we became parents, we also made fun of our own parents’ parenting. What were those people thinking when they put us in such danger during our childhoods full of sitting in metal highchairs with sharp edges, riding in cars with no seat belts, and biking the streets with no helmet?

It’s a rite of passage for every generation to make fun of the one before it and then the group coming in behind them. What we all need to be aware of, however, is to keep the inevitable generation gap a sliver for laughs versus a chasm filled with judgment and derision.

Sure, we’ve got our differences. But if we’re dismissing the value of the other group- sometimes even discriminating against them- that widens the gap between us. That’s what creates ageism.

Break Free of Labels

In the 1960s, a Look magazine (remember that beautiful publication?) editor named John Poppy came up with the term “generation gap” to describe the then-young Boomers disenchantment with the lifestyle and values of their parents, who were from either the Greatest Generation or the Silent Generation.

It was also during the 1960s when the slogan, “Never trust anyone over 30,” became a rallying cry to clearly mark the start of the gap between who was young and hip and who was old and square.

It feels to me that in the last few decades, the line between being considered still young and hip and that of being officially old and square has been moved to age 50. Is this to give more time for Millennials to call themselves young?

I think it’s got more to do with one of the very famous Boomers, Oprah Winfrey, who declared that “50 is the new 30,” right around the time she turned 50. Perhaps this is one hand-me-down from the Boomers that younger generations will appreciate!

But why must there be an official age by which we’re considered “old?” And why do we too often believe and behave by the behavior assigned to us en masse by these writers, researchers, and demographers?

Honestly, what’s the likelihood that all 70 million + Boomers or the similarly sized group of Millennials (both U.S. statistics) are identical in our behavior? I’d say a 0 out of 100 chance that’s true.

I firmly believe that many, many people between our two generations may actually be more alike than we are different.

Whenever I’m feeling too caught up in the side effects of aging (my reading glasses get stronger every six months while my walking distance gets shorter), I just bring to mind this wonderful quote from baseball great Satchel Paige:

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?”

Surprisingly, all this labeling for those of us born in the 20th century went from the domain of demographers and researchers to our everyday cultural conversation just in the past 40 years. Since this sliced-up and packaged description of us has become constant in news articles to tell us who we are and how we act, do we believe more than ever we’re really all so very different than alike?

For example, 2025 marks the first wave of the Generation X group turning 60. I’m just three years older, yet in these generational labels I’d appear to be a very different person than the Gen Xer sitting next to me.

I don’t think any of us should buy into these labels too strongly. Don’t be fooled by the packaging- get to know what’s inside.

Let’s Launch the Age of Empathy

I love history, and I view the important historic periods that created the unique characteristics of the generations fascinating to learn more about. There is a consistent ebb and flow to the behavior and values of different generations when viewed at a high level through history.

Digging deeper into these generational topics, I turned to my fellow Substack creator Mo, who’s a subject matter expert on this topic and publisher of the newsletter,

The Generational Lens

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She explained to me that there three different ways people within the groups of generations adhere to the assigned values of their group: traditional, culturally current, and future tuned.

The more a person in our 60s or 70s adheres to the traditional Baby Boomer generational values assigned to us, the more negatively we will probably view others in very different age groups.

This is what leads many people as they age to just blanket dismiss younger generations, and perhaps even feel resentment toward their lifestyles and values.

And vice versa, of course. The more Millennials and now Generation Z believe that those of us 25 or 40 years older than them are all examples of the negative stereotypes of Baby Boomers, the more likely they are to have ageist attitudes toward us.

“The more rigid we are in our generation’s identity, the harder it is to understand those from other generations,” Mo told me in regard to our acceptance of younger generations. “The more we embrace the values of the rising generation, the more ease we’ll experience. “

And she confirms my overall feeling that we need to avoid letting these generational labels create tension between us that leads to ageist attitudes.

“We have more in common than we often think,” Mo said.

She provided a very simple key to help us move from a rigid to a more culturally current view of younger generations: empathy.

When we intentionally focus on what we have in common in our life experiences- the joys and challenges of parenthood or the complications and rewards from building a career- we foster that empathy.

Just being curious about each other's lives fosters a connection. Why are Millennial moms following such rigid guidelines in raising the next generation? We can just ask them where their guidance is coming from instead of dismissing their over-vigilance as ridiculous.

I’ve shared with younger work colleagues how it was to work in the days pre-internet, pre-text, pre-voice mail, and even pre-fax. They’re a little in awe that we were able to get so much done without all of the tools they now take for granted.

I sense from them just a bit of regret that they too didn’t get to enjoy working in the days when you were out of the office, you were unchained from work. And this makes me feel more empathy toward their challenges of work and life balance.

Having empathy and curiosity about those in a generation or two behind us will build more bridges and fewer walls.

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